Guest post by Robyna, from The Mummy and The Minx.
It’s no secret that as my life has become consumed by babies and toddlers I sometimes feel that I have lost a little part of myself, a little bit of my mojo. One day I’ll write a piece titled, ‘How I got my mojo back’. But it’s too soon for that.
My friend Robyna, who writes at The Mummy and The Minx, is a mum on a journey to rediscover her minxy self through a celebration of style, creativity and words. She writes about holding on to your own identity while holding your children, and has provided lots of inspiration to me. I asked her to share a piece about discovering the new you (the you who is a mum) and recapturing your mojo.
My firstborn son was placed into my arms. And suddenly the world changed. Love took my breath away. An avalanche of emotion flooded my soul, my heart, my body, my mind. Here was this marvellous creation, totally reliant on me. I became someone different in that moment. I think all mothers do. My world expanded and contracted and I had to learn a whole new landscape.
In those fuzzy early months it was hard to tell when morning began and night ended. It was hard to tell where I ended and my baby began. In retrospect, those days seem dreamy and beautiful. Otherworldly and ethereal. Completely different and separate to any other experience in my life.
This is why it’s never a good idea to talk to mums of older children about the hard work of newborns. They have a tendency to forget entirely and romanticise the whole thing. When they implore you to “enjoy these precious moments,” they are not coming from the trenches, they are remembering the glory days with glistening eyes.
During those fuzzy, hard and wonderful months, I don’t think I had much mojo going on. Oh, I had the pressure to lose the baby weight, to be a yummy mummy, to dive back into the workforce, to be a modern mother – busy and certain. There were a lot of ideas about what I should be floating around. Some days I even managed them. But it felt like putting on a costume. Trying out a new role and awkwardly making it fit. I was still trying to figure out this new season of my life – this new me.
I think that’s why it feels like we lose our mojo in the early parts of motherhood. We have been given a whole new life, a whole new role and very little space and time to figure it out. For me, the early days were about getting to know my new baby. Not so much about getting to know the new me.
And then something happens. They sleep a little longer. You sleep a little longer with a blessed appreciation for shut eye that never disappears. Getting out of the house becomes easier. The current turns and you no longer feel like you’re constantly swimming against the tide. And as that ease comes, so does the opportunity to reignite your mojo.
I could tell you the things you’ve heard before about recapturing your mojo. Get out of the house! Exercise! Put on some lippie! Do something for you! They will bring you some sparkle – no doubt. But I don’t want to add pressure where there is already so much. It takes time to learn something new and to be someone new.
Mumma, you still have your mojo. It might be a little dim at the moment. But it’s still there and it will wait for you.